At Home with Mina

I am typing this post with one hand as my left arm is wrapped around my sleeping daughter. Sometimes  I just can't seem to put her down. This is to blame for the cookies I burnt last night and the laundry I waited three days to fold. There are other times when I'd like nothing more than to put her down and have a normal life back (those 4am feedings, for example), but I'm usually happy to have Wilhelmina in my arms.
In some ways, life hasn't changed much since my last month of pregnancy. I was home from work, getting up several times a night to use the bathroom, and the house was a mess since it was too much of a struggle to bend over and pick things up. Now I'm still at home, I get up in the wee hours of the morning to feed Mina, and things I can't pickup with a baby in my arms stay where they are dropped. Despite these similarities, my life is miles apart from where it was just a few short weeks ago.
I have a purpose. January was rough not just because I was 8 months pregnant, but because I had nothing to do. I'd already been out of work for a month and I was starting to get restless. Ben was working and making money to support us while I was at home doing nothing. I felt completely useless. Now, I am still not making any money (I might be soon - more on that later), but I have a full-time job. Feeding, changing, bathing and loving a newborn is a lot of work even if she is calm and laid-back like Mina. This job has no vacation time and I'm working nights and weekends. Did I mention I only get payed in poop and spit-up? But I could not think of a job I'd rather be doing.
On a slightly unrelated note, today was Mina's first Sunday at church. We sang a song called "Beautiful Things." It has been one of my favorites these past 9 months because we sang it the first Sunday after I found out I was pregnant, when it was still just a secret between me and God. I hadn't even told Ben yet since he was in Florida. As I sang it today, while holding my newborn baby, I saw how all the struggles of the past nine months had been worth it. I know there are many more hardships to come, but we are so blessed to have Wilhelmina. My life has changed forever, and I wouldn't want it any other way.

Beautiful Things
by Gungor

All this pain
I wonder if I’ll ever find my way
I wonder if my life could really change at all
All this earth
Could all that is lost ever be found
Could a garden come up from this ground at all

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

All around
Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found in You