Last year I finally gave in and decided we could buy a Playstation. We had done well with budgeting and ended up with some extra money so we called it an early Father's Day present (this was in May). For Father's Day, I told Ben he could preorder this game called Destiny which he had been pestering me about. In July we played the beta and got the full game in September. Ben was ecstatic and I was happy he was happy. Little did I know this little game would end up being a present for me.
Destiny is a multiplayer game and you can join clans (fancy word for groups). Ben found Dads of Destiny right away and I was sad I had no friends but then we came across Dames of Destiny, so I joined. At first, it was a little awkward. I'd never played multiplayer before and had very little other gaming experience... I was not very good. Would anyone even want to play with me? After about a week in the clan, I had an opportunity to find out. I felt like I kept dying and wasn't helpful at all but we had fun. A few days later, she invited me to play again!!! I couldn't believe it (thanks Mori). This gave me the confidence to join groups on my own and even stream my subpar gameplay for the world to see on the dames' twitch.
So many others built on this confidence along the way. That first stream I was so afraid of what people would say but chat was helpful and encouraging (thanks pyro, rah). And soooo many Dames spent hours trying to help me complete my first raid even though they didn't need it. Eventually, I realized I had made friends.
It was much more than killing some enemies and hoping for loot drops with other people. Even though most of these friends knew me as "duck" from my playstation account name, they knew when I'd had a bad day or when Mina (saucy) kept me up late. I finally found myself again. I wasn't "Mina's mom" or "the pastry lady"... I was Whitney/duck.
The past year, I have spent most days rushing from work to daycare, and spending a couple hours with Mina before bed. I don't get out much, not because I don't want to but because with a rambunctious 2 year old it simply isn't possible. Destiny has allowed me to make and spend time with friends without leaving the house. These friends have encouraged me to help me become a better player and, cheesy, as it sounds, a better person.
I began taking on a greater role in dames of destiny and streaming on the dames twitch more often. A crazy thing happened then; People actually wanted to watch me play. They gave me support and confidence. This overflowed into other areas of life as well.
It's hard to fully explain what happened when I started playing Destiny. I guess it can best be found in the name of this blog - of Pastry and Pacifiers. Somewhere along this crazy journey of parenthood, my life had became just those 2 things. I was just running around overwhelmed by job and family and I lost myself along the way. The friends I made through playing this game gave me an identity back. Now it is a lot less running around, but instead learning to appreciate and enjoy each part of my life (on the good days at least - I'm not perfect). I can't help but wonder if those first 4 months with just a baby waiting for Ben to come home would have been less of a blur had I been gaming then. I can't go back now but I can recommend to any new mom to play video games. It sounds crazy but it is so important to remember that after a baby, you are still yourself. Parenting means you are almost never alone which ironically makes it incredibly lonely. Having friends you can talk to and depend on is so important. I hardly realized my busy life had led me to lose touch with friends until I found some new friends through Destiny. I love being a mom, a wife, and a pastry chef but those titles are hardly enough to describe me. Thanks Destiny and all my fellow guardians for reminding me of that. Fellow parents, try not to forget you are more than just "mom" or "dad."
