Never Let Go

I love watching Mina grow. The past few months her grasping motion has improved so much. It is fun to watch her intentionally grab her toys and move them closer to her, usually to her mouth. It is not fun when she practices grabbing my hair, even less fun when she goes for the neck and least fun when she decides my eyes look fun to grab. I put up with a lot of this abuse, but everyone has a breaking point. When Ben is home, he helps me unclench Mina's fingers from my skin. When it is just me, I repeat "No" and "ow" in the hope that Mina might realize that she is hurting Mommy. It hasn't worked yet.
These are not little love pinches either. Mina has nails and she knows how to use them. Sometimes I think her hands have turned into claws. When Mina grabs hold, she holds on tight and she is never letting go. The funny thing is, neither am I. If I am carrying my baby upstairs to change her diaper and she clenches the skin on my neck between her fingers, I will not drop her. I may want to drop her (just a natural reaction to pain, I would never dream of intentionally hurting my baby), but I hold on, because I love her.
Over the past few weeks this endless pinching has been a huge source of frustration. But yesterday in church, we sang "You Never Let Go" and I was left with a beautiful picture. A picture of God not only as Father but as Mother too. Holding on, never letting go of us no matter how often we pinch, kick, bite, scream or grab. We, unlike baby Mina, know what we are doing, it is intentional. Yet God, the best mother, still loves us, still holds us and never dreams of letting go.
I confess I don't think I have that kind of love. When Mina pinches me, I get frustrated and a little angry, even though I know she isn't trying to hurt me. But it is reassuring to know that I am loved so intensely. That ultimate example of motherly love gives me the strength to keep mothering on, even when it hurts. Besides, Mina has an adorable, heart-melting smile. It is impossible to stay upset with her for long.